Not a Nice Guy anymore

Not writing in my own language makes me feel secure. I like this sense of protection.

I started to write on the forum of the Nice Guys. I hope this thing will bring positive things with it.

I am starting to enjoy the company of other men and starting to understand how to talk with them.

A thing that I always feel is this incredible sense of fear. Fear of abandonment. I know it is absurd since I am 28 but this is what I feel.

I also I am not very sure of my direction in life. And I also don’t really know what I want.

Sometimes I have this bad emotional bursts of anxiety and fear: I call them emotional flashbacks.

I’d like to be a powerful man. That what I would like to become, someone who is respected and considered by his peers.

I tried to become successful only with just some ideas right now but I never put much effort in them.

I feel like something that is not working correctly in me, I always feel a sense of not being enough. Not being okay for what I am just now and so I have this desire to become very important.

So important that nobody could ignore me anymore.

Yes my family had a lot of problems.

I would like to become a Psychiatrist. Because I understand abandonment very well and I can understand psychiatric patients as well.

My family of course does not want that I do that.

I feel very lonely. But now, thanks to my every day improving social skills I am becoming better and better.

I also have some health issues that always keep my mind busy even if I should not think about them.