Not writing in my own language makes me feel secure. I like this sense of protection.
I started to write on the forum of the Nice Guys. I hope this thing will bring positive things with it.
I am starting to enjoy the company of other men and starting to understand how to talk with them.
A thing that I always feel is this incredible sense of fear. Fear of abandonment. I know it is absurd since I am 28 but this is what I feel.
I also I am not very sure of my direction in life. And I also don’t really know what I want.
Sometimes I have this bad emotional bursts of anxiety and fear: I call them emotional flashbacks.
I’d like to be a powerful man. That what I would like to become, someone who is respected and considered by his peers.
I tried to become successful only with just some ideas right now but I never put much effort in them.
I feel like something that is not working correctly in me, I always feel a sense of not being enough. Not being okay for what I am just now and so I have this desire to become very important.
So important that nobody could ignore me anymore.
Yes my family had a lot of problems.
I would like to become a Psychiatrist. Because I understand abandonment very well and I can understand psychiatric patients as well.
My family of course does not want that I do that.
I feel very lonely. But now, thanks to my every day improving social skills I am becoming better and better.
I also have some health issues that always keep my mind busy even if I should not think about them.